What Am I, If I Can't Be Yours
by qtips rescue me
Summary: A song-fic that captures two members of Team 7 after Sasuke left years ago, and all of the angst, drama, and little romance that comes with it. A story that contains everything about this relationship and nothing at all. -;;


**What am I, If I Can't Be Yours**

Now it's time, I fear to tell  
Naruto walked half heartedly in the rain, his blue eyes challenaging the storm that soaked his skin, and made his blonde hair stick in tuffs to his head. His consiousness was heavy, what he would say repeated through his mind. The seventeen-year-old's sandles sloushed on the pavement, a splash tried to crawl up his leg as he hit a puddle. **  
I've been holding it back so long  
**Years he had held back, bottling his feelings and tucking them away.  
Days he had decided he would do it today.  
Hours he had practiced on what he was going to say.  
Minutes it took him to walk in the rain, to the place they were supposed to meet.  
Sweat was blended with rain while he wondered how well she would take it, if she would take it at all. With a grim snicker he thought that she'd think he was joking. Or trying to pull something on her, and those nice eyes of hers would flicker with anger until he would tell her that he was serious.  
Naruto didn't know how she would react then.  
His stomach twisted into knots, as if expecting something horrible to happen. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he looked over at the ramen bar, the owner staring at him oddly as he passed.  
He flashed him an empty smile and waved as he passed, the sense of failure lurking throughout his soul. This was new to him, as he always burst into battle with determination, thinking he could never be defeated.  
Of course, no one could beat Uzamaki Naruto.  
That's what he had always thought, anyway. **  
But something strange deep inside me is happening  
I feel unlike  
I've ever felt  
**  
**And it's makin' me scared**... He whispered, feeling his hands tremble in his pockets. Because he knew.  
He just knew...  
That she would reject him, like so many others.  
So many others.  
Than he stopped walking, and looked up into the clouds, swirling as it produced rain, hitting his face.  
What was wrong with him...?  
He hadceom to a draw with Gaara of the Desert, he had trained under Jiraya, he had survived an encounter with Itachi, he had seen Haku and Zabuza more than once, he had beaten Neji, and so many other things.  
He was Uzamaki Naruto, the future Hokage.  
So why the hell was he afraid? Why was he doubting himself for the first time? **  
That I'm not what I think I am  
**But somehow, he didn't feel like Uzamaki Naruto today.  
Smiling that foxish grin, he began to laugh. At first it became a snicker, but than it became a full out roar as he silently challenaged the rain, and continued on his way, his steps more steady and bold.  
He found the alleyway allright, the one beside the Yamanaka flower shop. He could almost picture her there, with an umbrella to protect her pretty hair from the rain.  
Almost.  
Turning the corner, his face lit up, as he looked at her.  
She was kissing Sasuke.  
She was-she was-  
And Sasuke, he-he, he slapped her.  
He watched them like a movie, and tears from more than one person blended with the rain, and as she ran past him, crying, minutes after, he could only hear what she screamed at him as he slapped her. Her empty footsteps and splashing of puddles seemed so far away as the words echoed in his head.  
_I love you, Sasuke-kun!!! _  
He didn't care. For the first time in a long time, Naruto stood frozen. He couldn't tell if the water was coming from his eyes or the sky. **  
What of us, what do I say  
** Didn't Sasuke see that devotion in her eyes?  
How could he have been...how coud he have liked...  
A person like that?  
**Are we both from a different world**  
What Naruto wanted most...Sasuke hurt...  
How could she like someone who only hurt her?  
How could Naruto like someone who only hurt him?  
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? He screamed, not particularily sure who he was speaking to. The dark haired missing-nin spared a glance at him. Naruto could no longer believe this was Sasuke. He was a shell now, a mere tool. But he couldn't kill him.  
And Sasuke was gone.  
So was Naruto. **  
Cos every breath I take, I breathe it for you  
**And he ran.  
He ran, soaking wet, down the blurry streets of Kohona.  
Where was she?  
Sasuke wasn't going to kill her...was he?  
For the longest time, before he graduated the academy, Sakura was the one he held unto. The one he always strived to impress, and he could never push himself hard unless he thought of her. Even though she yelled at him later, on missions, there were times when she talked to him, praised him.  
When no one else would. Or could.  
In a sense, he wanted to protect her, because everyone thought she was weak.  
No one except for him knew how strong a girl like her really was.  
It wasn't physical strength, no. It was mental, emotional strength that she always had, despite of her low self esteem. After Sasuke left, she cried, yeah. Soon after, she vowed to get stronger, to bring him home.  
Naruto had known that she was living in a fantasy, and that Sasuke didn't want to come back. But she insisted, if she got stronger, he would come home, and she led herself to believe this, training everyday to beyond her limits.  
The rain beat against his face, the wind nipped at his cheeks.  
People began to talk about her; the hopeless girl still chasing a tragic and dangerous rebel. She began to get odd stares and cold ones when she walked home everyday, sometimes limping.  
Naruto walked her home everyday, wondering slightly if she felt how he did; chasing an impossible dream. His wasn't as far fetched as hers though, and she must've known it. The boy still defended her though, picking fights with anyone who dared stare too long.  
It became very possible Haruno Sakura was lower than he.  
Because when he left her on her doorstep, all beaten and bruised from training, she told him with diamonds in the corners of her eyes, **  
**_T-Thank you, Naruto...**I couldn't face my life without you**..._ She broke down then, throwing herself into his chest. _**And so I'm afraid**...._ She sobbed, as his arms wrapped around her. He hushed her, rocking her back and forth. He knew from then on, as he sent her back inside...**  
There's nothing to comfort us  
** As he walked away, he had heard her yell, her cry burdened with pain and grief. **  
**_**What am I, if I can't be yours**!?_  
He could almost picture her staring in the mirror, seeing Sasuke staring back at her.  
Almost.  
It was tragic, the villiagers had said, how her self worth was gone awry now, and depression was soon to come.  
Naruto didn't want to believe them. Already his eyes went glassly, with both anger and sorrow.  
Now he ran after her, because he was afraid of what she would do. **  
I don't sleep, I don't feel a thing  
And my senses are all but gone  
**Naruto could think of nothing but Sakura, and it made his heart ache, because she still loved him. But he had to be strong, he had to be strong for Sakura-Chan. **  
Can't even cry from the pain, can't even shed a tear now  
**He had thought they were the same; both chasing an dream, both training their hardest. **  
I realize  
We're not the same  
** They weren't. **  
And it's makin' me sad  
**He swung around the corner, there was Sakura's door step. His tired feet slapped at the ground, and he shivered as a harsh wind blew, driving the rain like nails into him. Because bringing Sasuke back had become both of their dream.  
Because bringing Sasuke back wasn't _just _bringing Sasuke back.  
It was so much more than that now.**  
Cos we can't furfill our dream  
**She was fallen on the tar, soaking wet and on her knees, crying and moaning with such sorrow Naruto's heart began to hurt. He rushed over ot her, kneeling down and trying to look at her face, which was obscured slightly by her pink hair.  
He murmered, reaching out his hand. She slapped it away without looking at him.  
It's over, Naruto. She choked, and looked at him with her jade eyes, almost bloodshot. **  
So I must, let us break free  
**W-What are saying? He asked numbly, his breathing heavy.  
Sasuke...he's...he's never coming back... She gulped, wetness clinging to her cheeks. **I can never be what you need**, N-Naruto...quit trying to stay with me...I'm...I'm....useless... She ended in a whisper, her shoulders shuddering.  
Sakura-Chan, you can't give up. Not now-  
It hurts too much... She clutched her chest, her teeth clenched. His mind was reeling, spinning in circles.  
Sakura-Chan, I-I...I love you for you...I don't care if your crazy or useless...not that you are.  
Shut up!! She screamed suddenly, glaring at him with a painful expression. Don't say you love me...when I still...your making this harder, more painful...  
It doesn't have to be. He found himself taking her arm, and getting her vertical. We can d-do something, we can move on...  
You can't earse pain like that... They started walking, the rain trying to lull Sakura to peace. And I can't....I can't move on... She looked over at Naruto's hardened face, who was probably cursing sasuke profusely. How she wished she could go back to the times of Team 7...  
Are you gonna be okay? He asked, as her arm latched unto his shoulder for balance, to steady herself from something she couldn't quite understand.  
Sakura sighed, but I'll keep living.  
He chuckled, and when she inquired why, he grinned, relieving himself of any of the stress they had just went through.  
The rain has stopped! He left her side and started to skip gleefully toward the ramen bar. They had already walked that far...? She had to move on, she knew, even if it hurt. **  
If there was a way through the hurt  
Then I would find it  
I'd take the blows, yes I would fight it  
But this is the one impossible dream to live  
**She would never bring Sasuke home, and if she did...she wouldn't forgive him.  
Sakura snapped out of her trance of thoughts, finally realizing how wet she was, and how stupid Naruto looked as he waved to her despretly, advirtising the noodle restaurant. She couldn't help but smile softly through the new flow of tears that had come. **  
****What am I, if I can't be yours**... ****

A/N: Well, I hoped you liked it, and understood it. laughs I think the message is a bit hard to find, but I it's there, if you look/think through enough. Then again, this is one of those stories about everything and nothing, XD. Please reveiw, good or bad, and thank you so much for reading. (I don't own Naruto or the song Thanatos-If I Can't Be Yours)


End file.
